August 19, 2017

STRONGER TOGETHER


Jacket: thrifted | Skirt: H&M  | Shoes: Zara
Is anyone else fed up at how the media capitalizes off women (especially African American woman) refusing to support each other? I sure am. I just don't quite get it. Why do we feel so threatened by each other? And more importantly why do we give our attention to such nonsense? That's why the bible says to guard your heart and mind. Reality tv (which is obviously staged) now speaks true to this generation on how we "should" interact with one another. I used to live and breath reality tv until one day I realized that I was developing a spirit of lust, discontent and materialism. I started hating myself because I didn't have this success or this love, or this portrayal of beauty. Honestly reality tv is a legal form of prostitution (defined as: the unworthy or corrupt use of one's talents for the sake of personal or financial gain). Your pimp (producer) asks you to do this for the tv audience (client) in exchange for money. All these woman are slaves to fame/power making them reckless and unfortunately these are the role models our children are looking up to because it "appears" that they have it all. What also concerns me is the lack of support for one another. I just be asking myself like why does another woman's beauty threaten your beauty, or her talent/success take away from yours? It doesn't! So why can't we come together to support, encourage and challenge each other so that we can take over the world as a unit. We were all were created to give something to this life. If me and you share a vision why can't we sit across from one another and bounce ideas rather than throw drinks,  and insults? As creatives we need one another to stay motivated, or maybe that's just me. I feel most motivated and inspired after talking to my fellow sisters who are also striving/struggling/thriving in pursuit of their purpose. It gets me excited. I really want to see my woman rise above society teaching us that we have to be at war with one another. Im trying to tell y'all, they want us to be at war with each other so we won't win. We are more of a threat when we are holding hands, just saying. It is hard enough being a woman in this world, not to add a woman of color. We are at war with our men, our employers, and the culture, we do not have to be at war with each other. Lets embrace and uplift one another. Lets come together and change the narrative. We are stronger together!!! I truly believe that. I created this blog to connect with my love of fashion but it is evolving more into a place where I connect with with my sisters in attempt to create a new normal- embrace ourselves, each other, our talents and waiting seasons. I don't want to hear another man use words like weak, damaged, insecure, reckless, victim, bitter or difficult to describe one of my sisters because I know it isn't true. We are strong, we are beautiful, we are gentle, we are foundations, we are life givers, we are survivors, we are one of a kind, we are thrivers, we are magic. Sisters, we have to be the narrators of our own stories. We have to stop letting the media, the culture and men speak for us. We have to let our actions speak for us. And we can only do this together. 

If you don't want to be weak,  know what you deserve and demand it (do not ask)

If you don't want to be a victim,  leave... (point blank period and that goes for relationships/careers/friendships). Stop putting your energy into things that don't serve you. 

If you don't want to be damaged, stop focusing on your failures (make defeat your fuel)

If you don't want to be insecure, love on yourself  (and not that surface "i'm a bad bih" love) Everyone can see thru that. Dig deep. 

If you don't want to be bitter, let it be a lesson so that you do not repeat

If you don't want to be reckless,  do not let greed/power/fame be your motivation (you will sell yourself short and toss your morals to the wind to get it)

If you want to be a queen, you decide your worth (not your relationship, your job, what kind of car you drive, house you live in, etc) Check for you worth inwardly!!

...And if we want the world (and our men) to respect us then we have to respect one another!

August 11, 2017

BEING INTENTIONAL

Top: Forever 21 | Pants: Topshop | Shoes: Zara | Scarf: thrift







I've been super uninspired lately. I'm probably just overthinking. I want this blog to be a place of inspiration/motivation for woman but I charge myself with perfection in my writing and transparency. It's super funny because this is the exact reason why I didn't pursue a career in journalism. I never wanted to loose my passion to write in "having to do it", if that makes sense. I picked up writing back when I was in [what] junior high school. I used to write little stupid poems about the popular boy I liked or whatever. Then I started writing more after my "first love" ended in what I thought at the time was the worst of ways. For me writing is always easier when I'm (for lack of a better word) sad or things aren't exactly working out the way I want. Is that weird? Can anyone else relate? Well either way I like to do it in my own time when my thoughts are natural & free flowing. I never want to feel like I am forcing it or forcing a narrative but what I do want is to make sure that I'm putting a positive spin on whatever it is I'm writing. The issue that I am running into is that life doesn't always work like that. And I can't always wrap my experiences up in a nice little bow. There are days when I am super excited about my journey and others when I don't even want to get out my bed to face the day. This week has been a lot of the latter and I am still trying to figure out why. It's like I wake up in a pit and can't turn it around. What I do know is that staying in bed won't help me get any closer to the life that I want. So I'm trying really hard to be intentional in my efforts. If I want to be the best version of myself I have to be intentional about being that person. If I want meaningful relationships I have to be intentional about improving my connections. So even though I find myself not wanting to jump out the bed and greet the day I am intentional about doing so. Right now working out is my something to look forward to when I wake up. This week it has been the thing that gets me out of bed. So that's a start. Working out is also known to help with anxiety, stress, and insomnia. I've seen improvement in all of these areas this week. "Free the endorphins" lol. I think another realization I have come to this week is that I don't use my time wisely. If I can't be wise with what I have now how can God trust me with more? Most people relate that to finances but for me it also goes for my time. Would I love to be in full-time business for myself of course but if I don't use the free time I have now to focus on my career pursuits then how can he trust me with 24hrs/365 of free-time? So when I start making the best of my time I know that God will make a way for me to have more. For this reason I am up forcing my hand this morning! Gotta start somewhere. So I end this week with productivity. I woke up in a pit; I worked out, made some breakfast and (being intentional) instead of going to my room to eat and fool myself into thinking I can get work done in bed I brought my computer downstairs into a main area in the crib and voila; a new post. What are some ways you guys break free of your pits? Is it by finding that thing you can look forward to each day? xo
































July 30, 2017

WHAT'S A COMFORT ZONE?

| Dress: Aqua | Shoes: Zara | 













If I could live in one color for the rest of my life it would be black. It all began when I started at a new school for freshman year of high. Of course everyone changes schools for high school but I like to be in environments  and around people that I am familiar and this I was not. There were a ton of changes going on at the time; we moved out of my childhood home, new area, new school, had to make new friends. A lot for a girl with a mild case of anxiety to take in. So, my angst sky rocketed to an all time high and caused me to start perspiring a ton. In order to hide it I wore black. And that was the beginning of my hiding in comfort zones. Now that I think about it this probably began my battle with hiding in the shadows and shying away from social settings. I didn't want anyone to get close enough to realize that I in fact was imperfect. * self discovery on the spot*. So anyway time went on and wearing all black became the chic thing so I kinda just held onto it. The closest thing to color that I would wear was grey. So before I loose you, why am I talking about black when I have a white dress on? Well this is me breaking free of a comfort zone that I have had for about 15 years. All this time I would cringe at the idea of wearing color. It was black in and out of season. I am now working on embracing things in my wardrobe that make me uncomfortable like: white, color, shorts, off the shoulder, sleeveless or ANYTHING NOT BLACK. This is just a starting point as I am working towards shaking off all the comfort zones that I have built up in my life like: staying in DC, living at home, avoiding social settings or going places alone (a win: i frequently date myself to the movies) embracing smallness, etc. So this is me; Alexia, a gal in her late 20's trying to build a new foundation to live her best life! xx

July 23, 2017

STAY PUT

Jacket: Lucy Paris | Top: Zara | Shorts: Sade and Sage | Shoes: Zara | Purse: thrift







Have you ever noticed how discontent leads to more discontent? I can think back on many times in my life where I could not wait to reach a certain season or milestone but upon doing so the new struggles that came with it made me want out as badly as I wanted in. This is literally why God calls us to be content and wait. Every trial we are experiencing now is to prepare us for what is to come. We must trust that God knows best because he really does. He knows if we are ready and he knows if he can trust us with the thing we want so badly. Also, rushing ahead of God will have you repeating the very season you ran from. Many of us want to lead before we follow. But God has placed you in this very season to teach you endurance, patience, contentment and to grow your faith. There is nothing wrong with setting goals and putting in the work to achieve them but God says that he will give us the desires of our heart "if" they align with his will and in his timing. This is why it is so important to be in tune with his voice. So many times he is telling us to wait on Him but because we aren't in tune we only hear what we want therefore causing us to rush into the next thing. I can remember when I was in retail. I wanted to get promoted so badly, but every time I knocked I got a no. This went on for what felt like forever. If I had been in tune to God's voice I probably would have heard him telling me to wait. I knew I wanted to have my own business and not grow within one but my eyes were fixed on the present. I didn't have hope for my future so I wanted a safety net and a title now. This lead me to continue my pursuit of a promotion until I finally got a yes. I was so excited (temporarily) but this particular yes meant that I would be working further away from home, longer hours, tougher boss and more responsibility than I had bargained for. Basically the grass was not greener. Of course I was up for the task but like I said, this thing that I wanted so bad wasn't as amazing as what I had fantasized it to be. It came with its own set of trials and forced me to step out of the shadows, especially if I wanted to continue to move up. My work was stellar but I was constantly overlooked because of my shy demeanor. So like I said, I was in such a rush to reach this season while God was telling me Alexia you are not ready. As an associate he was trying to teach me boldness, confidence, resilience, and leadership skills that would have served me well in my promotion but I was so busy wanting to get ahead that I landed myself out of his will. Then in the new position I was forced to learn these qualities while pretty much under the gun. It was tough at first. So many days I felt inadequate and even though I thrived in my work I still couldn't find my voice. So just as badly as I wanted this new position I wanted out. Like I said discontent just leads to more discontent. Eventually I left this job for something new which came with a pay increase but also required me to lead in boldness and confidence. Its a cycle, I rushed out of one season into another season and then into another ahead of God. Each time he was like nah, your not getting away from this lesson. He wanted me to know that he is in control and that he has placed me in certain environment to grow and refine me. I eventually want to have a clothing business of my own. How am I going to do that if I like to fly under the radar? It's impossible! Now being in tune with his voice I see that he is using my current season to teach me that I need to speak up, ask questions,  walk in boldness,  and confidence. So although my current job is super high stress, long crazy hours and not in my career path, I refuse to move. God has placed me here for a reason. Not for me to be lazy but to learn how to manage my stress, rely on Him, speak/walk boldly in my truth and BE A BOSS. I know what I want for my life and I strive towards it daily but I also recognize the importance of being content in the present while hopeful for the future cuz God has my back in both.






July 8, 2017

WHO YOU WANT TO BE




Self love is such a journey. I honestly had to change my entire mindset in order to give in to the process. I've been wanting a quick fix but I am learning that it is going to take work to uproot the foundation of negativity and self doubt that I have laid over the last decade. It really starts with my thoughts. [ thoughts > feelings > behaviors]. I have done a really good job of allowing my negative thoughts to create negative feelings and negative/ self destructive behaviors to follow. So I have started checking my negative thoughts at the door. Until pointed out to me I never realized how detrimental our thoughts can be to our way of life. I can think of many occasions where I woke up thinking "today is going to be a bad day", which ignited feelings of drowsiness, depression and anxiety", therefore leading to behaviors like not giving my best at work, or staying in bed all day. Like I said self destructive.  Upon acknowledging this I am trying a new thing. (always about a new thing these days, lol). While on this journey to becoming my best self I stopped focusing on who I am now, but instead I speak on the woman that I want to be. What does she look like? So I made a list & on those days when I feel like I'm failing myself or in moments where my anxiety, self doubt, or negativity are trying to take over I speak on the woman I want to be. And when I say speak I mean out loud. Alexia you are confident. You are enough. You are a go-getter. You have purpose. I also challenge myself. Why are you anxious? What is the worse thing that could happen if you speak up, or share yourself with the world? And have you gotten thru this before? Such a big one. When you are going thru a challenging time it feels like there is no way you are going to come out on the other side. But just remember, you got thru it before. Is it going to be easy? Heck no! Are you going to be happy everyday? Not! But can this challenge help propel you towards your destiny, and best self? HECK YEAH!!! I tell myself this everyday, no one ever grew in their comfort zone. It's the times of great trials where we get to see what we are made of!!! Keep that in mind and just keep going! You got this! So heres my list, I hope it will inspire you to start working toward believing you are who you want to be!

My best self:
- No complaining here
- Letting God do His thing
- Smile more
- Embrace flaws
- Nobody has what I have to offer
- Kicking to the curb that which isn't meant for me
- Chasing those dreams
- What others think don't matter
- Authentic (I'm so here) 
- Identity in Christ alone
- Ain't no relationship gonna define me
- Kicking butt
- Depression and anxiety / what's that?
- Glass half full





June 29, 2017

DON'T BE SILENT













by And Finally Kings of Leon Back Slash tee

Foil Dot Pleat Midi skirt (now on sale)

Zara sandal

The last few days my heart has felt super heavy. I am not sharing this for sympathy but as a word of encouragement for other creatives that struggle quietly with anxiety, depression, rejection, feelings of inadequacy and lack of support. Many years I have neglected the knot in my stomach to create with temporary fixes like sleeping all day, hiding in love and supporting others dreams to avoid the potential rejection that may come from pursuing my own. I have embraced staying small to avoid criticism; if I don't shine/try no one can have an opinion. So it comes as no surprise my greatest fear is that self doubt will keep me from living to my fullest potential. When your an artist there is no guideline on how to reach your goal and the closest to you just don't get it.  Most days I find discouraged, uninspired, lonely, rejected by my peers, full of fear and doubting my craft despite knowing God has great plans for my life. Like many 20 something artists I go to a job to fulfill someone else's dreams, commute home with barely enough time to eat or sleep and do it all over. Then have to scrape time to work on my art. I know God has something greater in store but this is exactly where he wants me now. With that being said this does not change the fact that some days I just can't see the light. I let my negative thoughts consume & make me doubt the gift I know God gave me to share with the world. I have also developed bad habits of avoiding by staying in bed, eating poorly/not at all or drowning it out by watching crap TV. Recently that saying you can't continue to do the same thing expecting different results has spoken life to me. So let's try something new together. When you hit a low, get in motion; take a walk, cook a meal, read a book or take yourself on a date. Get out there and connect with fellow creatives; it's magic when you share you story with someone who is going thru a similar time and you can encourage each other. It almost swallows your doubt whole because you realize you aren't alone, you are enough and this gift is so uniquely yours, amazing and worth sharing. You never know who will believe if you just give them the chance. So get out of your own way because no one ever accomplished anything great in their comfort zone. It's going to be a process but trust yourself and remember you aren't having a bad life, just a bad run. 

May 20, 2017

DREAM AWAY








Mother nature was NOT working in our favor this day. Once the wind finally stopped trying to blow me over the sun would hide behind the clouds and we would have to change settings. Then the moment the settings were right the sun would come back out. Needless to say there were lots of laughs and Marcus Charles managed to get a few genuine smiles out of me which is hard to do so hats off to him.

I am kinda in love with this skirt. I have owned it for quite some time. It was initially a purchase I made when I was thinking about opening a vintage shop in Alexandria a few years ago (still hope to one day). I have so many desires in my heart that it is really difficult to set a plan of action for how I am going to achieve them. I know that I want to be a fashion entrepreneur but the industry in DC is pretty much limited to retail management. I was a retail manager for Nordstrom for quite some time but it was never quite fulfilling. I liked aspects of the job but I wanted to be my own boss. I have always had a desire to work for myself. Owning a vintage store has been on my mind since childhood, but I also love styling & merchandising and hope to be doing all three under the hat of my own business. 

This is my millionth time trying to maintain a blog. I always get discouraged and quit after a month or so because I feel like I'm not stylish enough. Like why would anyone be inspired by my blog when the top influencers are wearing designer and flying all across the globe to shoot in vogue/etc? Or I would let my current job and the stress of it get in the way of shooting new content. This time I am going in completely open-minded because what I am starting to realize is that what is meant for me is for me. I cannot compare my beginning to someone else's middle. My journey is just that, MINE. Yes I thought by this time in my life I would be thriving in my career, engaged/married, possibly buying a home and talking about having kids but that's just not where I am. I am single, in a job that has nothing to do with fashion, and still living in my parents home. But guess what, I am [RIGHT HERE ]for a reason. Whatever the lesson I am to learn in this season is in preparation for my next season. So to anyone else who is feeling discouraged about where they are in life as opposed to where they think they should be; just know that you are not alone and that you are in this season for a purpose. Learn the lesson and be grateful. There are many people who wish they could be you. So stop comparing yourself to others and just focus on walking in your purpose. Thanks for stopping by!!!