by And Finally Kings of Leon Back Slash tee
Foil Dot Pleat Midi skirt (now on sale)
The last few days my heart has felt super heavy. I am not sharing this for sympathy but as a word of encouragement for other creatives that struggle quietly with anxiety, depression, rejection, feelings of inadequacy and lack of support. Many years I have neglected the knot in my stomach to create with temporary fixes like sleeping all day, hiding in love and supporting others dreams to avoid the potential rejection that may come from pursuing my own. I have embraced staying small to avoid criticism; if I don't shine/try no one can have an opinion. So it comes as no surprise my greatest fear is that self doubt will keep me from living to my fullest potential. When your an artist there is no guideline on how to reach your goal and the closest to you just don't get it. Most days I find discouraged, uninspired, lonely, rejected by my peers, full of fear and doubting my craft despite knowing God has great plans for my life. Like many 20 something artists I go to a job to fulfill someone else's dreams, commute home with barely enough time to eat or sleep and do it all over. Then have to scrape time to work on my art. I know God has something greater in store but this is exactly where he wants me now. With that being said this does not change the fact that some days I just can't see the light. I let my negative thoughts consume & make me doubt the gift I know God gave me to share with the world. I have also developed bad habits of avoiding by staying in bed, eating poorly/not at all or drowning it out by watching crap TV. Recently that saying you can't continue to do the same thing expecting different results has spoken life to me. So let's try something new together. When you hit a low, get in motion; take a walk, cook a meal, read a book or take yourself on a date. Get out there and connect with fellow creatives; it's magic when you share you story with someone who is going thru a similar time and you can encourage each other. It almost swallows your doubt whole because you realize you aren't alone, you are enough and this gift is so uniquely yours, amazing and worth sharing. You never know who will believe if you just give them the chance. So get out of your own way because no one ever accomplished anything great in their comfort zone. It's going to be a process but trust yourself and remember you aren't having a bad life, just a bad run.