When you struggle with anxiety and low lows it is so important to stay on task and develop a routine that works for you. For me that routine is taking time in the morning to meditate and read scripture, pray, workout and write. I spent Christmas in Mexico, turned 29, had a minor break down and never really got back to the routine that kept me balanced once I returned home. It's been two months and I have spent more time feeling sorry for myself than I tackling the intentions I set for myself this year. I don't know what changed but this morning I said no more, I got out of bed when my alarm went off (instead of hitting snooze 4 times), did a quick meditation and the Lord led me to 2 Thessalonians 3:6-10 which says "If a man will not work he shall not eat" well I have a full-time job but it was the break down that touched me, "There is a difference between leisure and laziness. Relaxation and recreation provide a much needed balance to our lives. As Christians when it is time to work we must jump in. We should make the most of our talent and time, doing all we can to provide for ourselves and our dependents. Rest when you should be resting and work when you should be working". Although I do work a full-time job I know that I am not making the most of my talents or time. It almost feels impossible to chase after a dream when you have full-time job but it is definitely possible only if your up for the challenge and willing. You give someone else's dream 40 hrs a week, so you can at least give yours an hour a day. So to all the ladies out there who dream bigger than 9-5, this prayer is mine but yours:
Lord, I thank you for nudging me out of bed this morning. Today's scripture was right on time. You know the things I am struggling with. I know that you did not put me on this Earth to be mediocre but to spread my wings and make use of the gifts and talents that you have given me. I am a phenomenal writer. I know how to uplift others to see the best in themselves and believe in what they have to offer the world. As I use this gift to support others I pray that you will teach me how to lavish myself with love, support, and encouragement. Break this depressed spirit that rests upon me day in and out. Break the chains of laziness, unworthiness, anxiety and doubt in me. Let this be a new day. Day 1. When I begin to compare myself to others remind me that I don't have to have a huge following in order to do your will or make an impact. Teach me how to make better use of my time. That I will stop wasting it behind the television but instead use it to better my craft. I trust you with my talent. I trust that if I am diligent in sharing it that you will yield the results...but in your perfect timing. If I am meant to do this full-time it will be. If I put in the work. Lord I pray that as I put forth my best effort that you will continue to remind me that I am doing your will...what you have called of me. That I will not get caught up comparing my journey to others. I am right where you would have me to be. My journey is my journey and only I can fulfill your purpose for my life.